Snuggie™ Haiku

2010-01-08T07:50:00.000-06:00

one year is in fact
364 days
too long for this.

bye.

2010-01-07T07:30:00.000-06:00

model-like body
remained an undiscovered
gem beneath warm fleece

2010-01-06T06:19:00.001-06:00

you ever wonder what
ochocinco would look like
in a snuggie? here

2010-01-05T08:53:00.001-06:00

supreme court just can't
keep straight face long enough for
pic wearing snuggies

2010-01-04T07:42:00.001-06:00

15 million ants
still could not move big cozy
discarded object

2010-01-03T07:34:00.001-06:00

could snuggie let man
float down mary poppins-style?
no. no it could not.

2010-01-02T20:22:00.000-06:00

fifty one years old?
and never owned a snuggie?
fifty one years old?

2009-12-31T13:49:00.000-06:00

quiet new years eve
still seemed special thanks to her
warm blanket with sleeves

2009-12-30T06:51:00.002-06:00

cellular signal
could not penetrate snuggie;
a haiku-less day

2009-12-28T13:39:00.003-06:00

the plant store was no
place for snuggie-clad worker
cacti were the worst

2009-12-27T07:11:00.000-06:00

richie zambora
liked the reunion tour,
pranks like hiding fleece

2009-12-25T15:49:00.002-06:00

what is the outcome
of a woman wearing fleece
on her first blind date?

2009-12-24T05:07:00.001-06:00

medical alert
instructions never were found
in cavernous fleece

2009-12-23T15:50:00.001-06:00

guitarist named band
accidental travesty,
got snuggies for road

2009-12-22T22:24:00.001-06:00

sinister hoodlum
tripped on his fleece, lost all his
sinisterness

2009-12-21T08:17:00.000-06:00

does anyone know
how to get egg yolk out of
snuggies? anyone???

2009-12-20T09:31:00.001-06:00

a christmas story
a roaring fire and fleece
a perfect sunday

2009-12-19T08:02:00.002-06:00

sympathizing with
fleece wearing marathoner
but don't understand

2009-12-18T06:39:00.001-06:00

high diver performed
to perfection, but snuggie
obscured twisty moves

2009-12-17T04:56:00.003-06:00

fleecy officer
had to pull out badge to prove
his identity

2009-12-16T06:06:00.001-06:00

drool-covered woman
woke from fleece-induced coma...
did i miss a day?

2009-12-14T21:19:00.002-06:00

the dubious spy
did not realize man he
followed changed snuggies

2009-12-13T12:09:00.002-06:00

she openly sobbed
as she watched her neighbor buy
last snuggie in store

2009-12-12T10:27:00.002-06:00

oceanic fish
had fleecy aquarium
thanks to breeze on boat

2009-12-11T06:30:00.002-06:00

police dogs traced scent
of blood-stained snuggie to man
wearing a clean one

2009-12-10T06:17:00.001-06:00

elevator silence
even more awkward with fleece
wearer in the car

2009-12-09T06:31:00.002-06:00

octomom could not
afford snuggies for all kids;
she played favorites

2009-12-08T08:22:00.001-06:00

manufacturing's
a tough job market for
fleece-wearing foreman

2009-12-07T13:23:00.002-06:00

holiday parties
are coming up this weekend
is my snuggie clean?

2009-12-06T05:10:00.002-06:00

78 days
long enough to break in snuggie,
observed scientist

2009-12-05T16:11:00.002-06:00

recovery group
sat in circle, shared stories
of their time in fleece

2009-12-04T06:05:00.002-06:00

the high school senior
just could not listen to the
counselor in fleece

2009-12-03T06:24:00.002-06:00

fleeced tourists flocked to
mountaintop to imitate
brazil's jesus pose

2009-12-02T21:18:00.002-06:00

$85
haircut, new shoes no match for
ugliness of fleece

2009-12-01T04:32:00.001-06:00

meadowlark lemon
tried dribbling basketball
wearing fleece - couldn't

2009-11-30T07:05:00.002-06:00

you can't make me, mom!
you can't make me wear that fleece!
I'm 23! stop!

2009-11-29T17:04:00.002-06:00

church group all wore fleece
in defiance of priest who
feared losing control

2009-11-28T08:56:00.002-06:00

snake charmer's eyes closed
as he wondered why snuggie
didn't protect him

2009-11-27T05:53:00.002-06:00

mad celebrity
wondered why press agent booked
him to hand out fleece

2009-11-26T11:55:00.002-06:00

tongue in cheek humor
did not pay off after he
insulted her fleece

2009-11-25T04:15:00.002-06:00

faced with disaster,
she cloaked herself in secret
invisible fleece

2009-11-24T05:30:00.002-06:00

I am a winter
my snuggie is burgundy
no wonder I clash

2009-11-23T05:05:00.002-06:00

crossing desert sand
wearing snuggie not needed
old habits die hard

2009-11-22T05:17:00.002-06:00

star wars joke so old
no I am not an ewok
heard a million times

2009-11-21T14:04:00.002-06:00

starter’s pistol fires
runner in fleece trips slightly
a slow start off blocks

2009-11-20T02:04:00.002-06:00

operate forklift
with increased difficulty
due to covered feet

2009-11-19T05:07:00.001-06:00

It is not a cape
crass corpulent coat check clerk
will leave no tip, ha!

2009-11-18T11:10:00.002-06:00

fire escape no help
can’t climb steps while wrapped in warmth
need 12-story slide

2009-11-16T07:02:00.002-06:00

a police line-up
culprit easily spotted
“him – in the blanket”

2009-11-15T21:23:00.003-06:00

don’t need to wear scrubs
surgery in snuggie’s fine
‘cept gripping scalpel

2009-11-13T22:44:00.002-06:00

horse is very spooked
why the concern there, ol’ boy?
fear jockeys in fleece?

2009-11-12T06:09:00.002-06:00

at sunday buffet
sleeves hold far more than stomach
will eat well for weeks

2009-11-11T21:29:00.002-06:00

farewell, dust bunnies
you’re no match for fleece blanket
don’t even need broom

2009-11-09T06:15:00.002-06:00

centerfold model
spurns bikini at big shoot
in favor of fleece

2009-11-08T22:12:00.001-06:00

bank loan is refused
won’t lend to man in snuggie
fine, i’ll steal money

2009-11-07T06:26:00.000-06:00

dandruff floats on down
creating snow-like effect
on bright colored fleece

2009-11-06T20:32:00.002-06:00

unsuccessfully,
man tried to dye his fleece black,
enter big event

2009-11-05T06:27:00.002-06:00

the critics decried
sluggish start of fashion show
what with fleece and all

2009-11-04T05:30:00.000-06:00

MILF in warm snuggie
no longer a MILF to man;
just a mom in fleece

2009-11-03T08:16:00.001-06:00

holiday means I
still wear my snuggie at home
just not to office

2009-11-02T07:07:00.002-06:00

renaming this month
has earned much scorn among friends
regret saying it

2009-11-01T08:13:00.001-06:00

november is here
perhaps month should be known as
Snuggietober, yes?

2009-10-31T18:48:00.001-05:00

snuggie wearer went
as inside out snuggie guy
no one laughed but him

2009-10-30T20:16:00.003-05:00

wrapped in comfy fleece,
the babysitter arrived
looking strange, but warm

2009-10-29T05:13:00.003-05:00

class all wears snuggies
like a poorly-colored choir
without gift of song

2009-10-28T04:15:00.003-05:00

snuggies look normal
next to popular dresses
from FLDS

2009-10-27T03:20:00.003-05:00

hemmed up my snuggie
now I can snowboard half pipe
knowing it won’t snag

2009-10-26T20:03:00.003-05:00

full signal on phone
clever haiku uploaded
technology failed

2009-10-24T11:10:00.004-05:00

electric snuggie!
must file a patent at once
that idea’s mine

2009-10-23T07:41:00.001-05:00

softball uniform?
let everyone dress like me
snuggies for whole team

2009-10-22T05:39:00.002-05:00

can sing in snuggie
but swimsuit competition
is where setback lies

2009-10-21T21:47:00.002-05:00

Taliban member?
no, just guy who needed warmth
and hands free for snacks

2009-10-20T08:17:00.002-05:00

shoe shopped for hours
anxious to show off new pumps
sadly, they’re unseen

2009-10-19T05:29:00.001-05:00

enjoy nicotine
hands free to smoke anytime
sleeves a dull yellow

2009-10-18T21:14:00.001-05:00

writing a screenplay
man who spends life in blanket
“modern day gandhi”

2009-10-17T08:02:00.001-05:00

a store fitting room?
how can I try new clothes on
wearing my snuggie?

2009-10-16T21:52:00.002-05:00

the phone rings and rings
can’t answer, not with hands trapped
oh wait, I have sleeves!

2009-10-15T07:25:00.000-05:00

wet snuggie contest
proved to be disappointment
to nightclub owner

2009-10-14T20:01:00.001-05:00

no special for me
fondue sounds quite tasty, but
can’t dip with these sleeves

2009-10-13T22:10:00.002-05:00

breakdancer in past
can’t perform simple airchair
not with snuggie on

2009-10-12T10:03:00.001-05:00

what do you mean by
“jonestown of the living room”?
is that mockery?

2009-10-11T06:23:00.002-05:00

for grandma's birthday
got snuggie which blends in with
old wrinkly skin

2009-10-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

disappointment grows
for albino girl seeking
a matching snuggie

2009-10-09T06:02:00.000-05:00

guy at the car wash
said I could dry car myself
he and friends just laughed

2009-10-08T08:19:00.000-05:00

kettle chip maker
rues the day he wore snuggie
during daytime shift

2009-10-07T06:03:00.000-05:00

marx utopia
economic stimulus?  
give snuggies to all

2009-10-06T07:29:00.000-05:00

piano mover
could not get grip with fleece on
rubble rang in C

2009-10-05T07:44:00.001-05:00

hand me your damn keys
I work here – have you not seen
snuggly valet?

2009-10-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

unexpected guest
keeps on apologizing
thinking he woke host

2009-10-03T20:01:00.001-05:00

astronomer seeked
stars to back his theory of
fleece constellation

2009-10-02T06:32:00.001-05:00

i ate the cupcakes?
yes that’s frosting on my sleeve
perhaps I was framed

2009-10-01T04:04:00.001-05:00

it’s me, stop barking
stop barking now, goddammit
stop barking, it’s me

2009-09-30T21:54:00.002-05:00

under bright stage lights
guitar strings muffled by fleece
the boos ring loudly

2009-09-29T05:56:00.001-05:00

carelessly, i paint
sleeves become soaked in paint tray
create snuggie art

2009-09-28T18:10:00.001-05:00

I am a winter
my snuggie is a light green
no wonder I clash

2009-09-27T10:09:00.001-05:00

trying to conduct
a science experiment
fleece can’t grip beakers

2009-09-26T05:20:00.000-05:00

feeling discontent
new driver's license picture
crops off my snuggie

2009-09-25T07:49:00.001-05:00

am neither too hot
nor too cold. feel coddled in
fleece purgatory

2009-09-24T06:35:00.000-05:00

only september
but already, chill in air
increases snuggie need

2009-09-23T05:51:00.000-05:00

trouble uploading
brilliant haiku yesterday
snuggie dried my tears