one year is in fact
364 days
too long for this.

bye.

model-like body
remained an undiscovered
gem beneath warm fleece

you ever wonder what
ochocinco would look like
in a snuggie? here

supreme court just can't
keep straight face long enough for
pic wearing snuggies

15 million ants
still could not move big cozy
discarded object

could snuggie let man
float down mary poppins-style?
no. no it could not.

fifty one years old?
and never owned a snuggie?
fifty one years old?

quiet new years eve
still seemed special thanks to her
warm blanket with sleeves

cellular signal
could not penetrate snuggie;
a haiku-less day

the plant store was no
place for snuggie-clad worker
cacti were the worst

richie zambora
liked the reunion tour,
pranks like hiding fleece

what is the outcome
of a woman wearing fleece
on her first blind date?

medical alert
instructions never were found
in cavernous fleece

guitarist named band
accidental travesty,
got snuggies for road

sinister hoodlum
tripped on his fleece, lost all his
sinisterness

does anyone know
how to get egg yolk out of
snuggies? anyone???

a christmas story
a roaring fire and fleece
a perfect sunday

sympathizing with
fleece wearing marathoner
but don't understand

high diver performed
to perfection, but snuggie
obscured twisty moves

fleecy officer
had to pull out badge to prove
his identity

drool-covered woman
woke from fleece-induced coma...
did i miss a day?

the dubious spy
did not realize man he
followed changed snuggies

she openly sobbed
as she watched her neighbor buy
last snuggie in store

oceanic fish
had fleecy aquarium
thanks to breeze on boat

police dogs traced scent
of blood-stained snuggie to man
wearing a clean one

elevator silence
even more awkward with fleece
wearer in the car

octomom could not
afford snuggies for all kids;
she played favorites

manufacturing's
a tough job market for
fleece-wearing foreman

holiday parties
are coming up this weekend
is my snuggie clean?

78 days
long enough to break in snuggie,
observed scientist

recovery group
sat in circle, shared stories
of their time in fleece

the high school senior
just could not listen to the
counselor in fleece

fleeced tourists flocked to
mountaintop to imitate
brazil's jesus pose

$85
haircut, new shoes no match for
ugliness of fleece

meadowlark lemon
tried dribbling basketball
wearing fleece - couldn't

you can't make me, mom!
you can't make me wear that fleece!
I'm 23! stop!

church group all wore fleece
in defiance of priest who
feared losing control

snake charmer's eyes closed
as he wondered why snuggie
didn't protect him

mad celebrity
wondered why press agent booked
him to hand out fleece

tongue in cheek humor
did not pay off after he
insulted her fleece

faced with disaster,
she cloaked herself in secret
invisible fleece

I am a winter
my snuggie is burgundy
no wonder I clash

crossing desert sand
wearing snuggie not needed
old habits die hard

star wars joke so old
no I am not an ewok
heard a million times

starter’s pistol fires
runner in fleece trips slightly
a slow start off blocks

operate forklift
with increased difficulty
due to covered feet

It is not a cape
crass corpulent coat check clerk
will leave no tip, ha!

fire escape no help
can’t climb steps while wrapped in warmth
need 12-story slide

a police line-up
culprit easily spotted
“him – in the blanket”

don’t need to wear scrubs
surgery in snuggie’s fine
‘cept gripping scalpel

horse is very spooked
why the concern there, ol’ boy?
fear jockeys in fleece?

at sunday buffet
sleeves hold far more than stomach
will eat well for weeks

farewell, dust bunnies
you’re no match for fleece blanket
don’t even need broom

centerfold model
spurns bikini at big shoot
in favor of fleece

bank loan is refused
won’t lend to man in snuggie
fine, i’ll steal money

dandruff floats on down
creating snow-like effect
on bright colored fleece

unsuccessfully,
man tried to dye his fleece black,
enter big event

the critics decried
sluggish start of fashion show
what with fleece and all

MILF in warm snuggie
no longer a MILF to man;
just a mom in fleece

holiday means I
still wear my snuggie at home
just not to office

renaming this month
has earned much scorn among friends
regret saying it

november is here
perhaps month should be known as
Snuggietober, yes?

snuggie wearer went
as inside out snuggie guy
no one laughed but him

wrapped in comfy fleece,
the babysitter arrived
looking strange, but warm

class all wears snuggies
like a poorly-colored choir
without gift of song

snuggies look normal
next to popular dresses
from FLDS

hemmed up my snuggie
now I can snowboard half pipe
knowing it won’t snag

full signal on phone
clever haiku uploaded
technology failed

electric snuggie!
must file a patent at once
that idea’s mine

softball uniform?
let everyone dress like me
snuggies for whole team

can sing in snuggie
but swimsuit competition
is where setback lies

Taliban member?
no, just guy who needed warmth
and hands free for snacks

shoe shopped for hours
anxious to show off new pumps
sadly, they’re unseen

enjoy nicotine
hands free to smoke anytime
sleeves a dull yellow

writing a screenplay
man who spends life in blanket
“modern day gandhi”

a store fitting room?
how can I try new clothes on
wearing my snuggie?

the phone rings and rings
can’t answer, not with hands trapped
oh wait, I have sleeves!

wet snuggie contest
proved to be disappointment
to nightclub owner

no special for me
fondue sounds quite tasty, but
can’t dip with these sleeves

breakdancer in past
can’t perform simple airchair
not with snuggie on

what do you mean by
“jonestown of the living room”?
is that mockery?

for grandma's birthday
got snuggie which blends in with
old wrinkly skin

disappointment grows
for albino girl seeking
a matching snuggie

guy at the car wash
said I could dry car myself
he and friends just laughed

kettle chip maker
rues the day he wore snuggie
during daytime shift

marx utopia
economic stimulus? 

give snuggies to all

piano mover
could not get grip with fleece on
rubble rang in C

hand me your damn keys
I work here – have you not seen
snuggly valet?

unexpected guest
keeps on apologizing
thinking he woke host

astronomer seeked
stars to back his theory of
fleece constellation

i ate the cupcakes?
yes that’s frosting on my sleeve
perhaps I was framed

it’s me, stop barking
stop barking now, goddammit
stop barking, it’s me

under bright stage lights
guitar strings muffled by fleece
the boos ring loudly

carelessly, i paint
sleeves become soaked in paint tray
create snuggie art

I am a winter
my snuggie is a light green
no wonder I clash

trying to conduct
a science experiment
fleece can’t grip beakers

feeling discontent
new driver's license picture
crops off my snuggie

am neither too hot
nor too cold. feel coddled in
fleece purgatory

only september
but already, chill in air
increases snuggie need

trouble uploading
brilliant haiku yesterday
snuggie dried my tears

shortly before dawn
the paperboy slipped on his
work snuggie and left

autopsy results
showed drugs in blood stream, traces
of unexplained fleece

piano teacher
cannot hold sustain pedal
blames slippery fleece

screw hooter hiders
i'll just throw on a snuggie
and nurse when i please

courtesy of katy rank lev

maitre d harrumphed
but rules were not specific
so fleecy man dined

parents appalled at
snuggie-wearing crossing guard
sadly, she was fired

santa ana winds
blew snuggie embers for miles
towns downwind scattered

snuggie commercials
are back on the air again
creating warmth too

lobster bisque added
to the growing list of foods
that can stain snuggies

spent 9/11
in fleece-induced cocoon state
sorry no haiku

i wish my snuggie
would be sold with the wine stains
already in there

ambidextrous man
put snuggie on with left hand;
removed with right hand

48 dollars?
for fleece? man hated mark-up
but what could he do?

would fleece help control
political assembly?
wondered pretend leader

on the south end of
the 49th parallel
fleece was not needed

exceptionally
warm day made farmer thankful
for wide, airy sleeves

olson twins chuckled
poor paparazzi couldn't
tell who's who in fleece

emo teenager
discovered fleece keeps him warm
and hides his feelings

bob couldn't believe
ceremonial snuggie
was finally his

interstate 15
kept snuggie-wearing trucker
from mocks of others

defense presented
chloroform-scented snuggie
as flawed evidence

restless leg syndrome
made far more tolerable
with fleecy blanket

chilly sheep request
fleecy blanket with sleeves for
colder winter months

trash collector dug
through piles of rotting food for
discarded snuggie

with fleece as only
circumstantial evidence,
man was acquitted

snuggie-wearing man
says mystery of wardrobe
unintentional

transformer confused
as a monster, snuggie fits
but as a truck, no

man lunged with sharp knife
cutting other man's snuggie,
but missing his flesh

ideal season
for wearing fleecy comfort?
not summer, for sure

raking autumn leaves
made easier when wearing
a blanket with sleeves

man tossed fleece in sea
as boat idled in silence;
a touching tribute

dental assistant
wore green snuggie, as it matched
spit from mint toothpaste

snuggie in train door
conductor didn't notice;
a tragic ending

amputee wonders
what is all the fuss about
a blanket with sleeves

a blanket with sleeves
no defense for bear attack
thought injured woman

sandstorm buried town
archaeologists confirmed;
only snuggies found

need to dust combined
with no rags resulted in
lemon-scented fleece

betsy ross snuggie:
when 2 snuggies that wear thin
are sewn together

leprocy symptoms
appear as fleecy warmth thanks
to blanket with sleeves

like a layered cake,
bottom rung of used snuggie
had different shade

snuggie has become
an official wardrobe of
reclusive authors

middle eastern prince
did not know what to make of
diplomat in fleece

"turn, turn, turn away
from restraint of blanket" said
beat poet in fleece

eschewing advice,
mountain climber only wore
thin layer of fleece

peering over the
wishing well, tossing pennies
hoping for new fleece

happy day today
snuggie getting fancier
bedazzler arrived

man tripped on snuggie
tumbled 3 times down staircase
will fleece cushion blow?

205th day
spent in my blanket with sleeves
world record, perhaps

vodka lemonade
tastes even more refreshing 
in blanket with sleeves

autumn coming soon
most plants, they wither and die
snuggies start to bloom

can fleece be used to
protect a man from surge of 
electricity?

back home on driveway
sits forgotten camp supplies
snuggie used as tent

dwarf wears a snuggie
while sitting on man's shoulders  
next halloween hit?

a noticeable
improvement in morale since
boss ok'd snuggies

express train went by
leaving sad commuters and
fleece flapping in wind

teachers couldn't tell
which twin was which; colored
snuggies only way

airplane dilemma
man's snuggie over arm rest
proper etiquette?

sentimental girl
gave favorite snuggie to boy
unrequited love

540
people jumproping in fleece
set world record

could snuggies be used
to smother customer ser-
vice folks over phone?

courtesy of katy rank lev

couple at picnic
remembered all but blanket
snuggie to rescue

bury head in sand?
the ostrich got it so wrong
choose pink fleece instead

courtesy of katy rank lev

casual friday
is not welcoming for fleece
explained HR girl

don't need your dollar
i am comfy, not homeless
see how clean fleece is?

wheel of shopping cart
slides down linoleum tiles
fleece stuck in axle

"come here you maggot!
why the fleecy uniform?"
barked the drill sergeant

fleece intact in tree
proving tornado cannot
damage a snuggie

new roller coaster
couldn't pick up any speed;
all that fleece flapping

like hunter with kills,
carol collected food stains
along her snuggie sleeves

tommy lasorda
demanded snuggie discount
"you know who i am?!?"

circus fat lady
wore her birthday gift, looked like
fleece-encased sausage

philanthropist gave
15,000 snuggies to
kids in bangladesh

fleece sale at target.
zebra. cheetah. breast cancer
pink. how do i choose?

courtesy of katy rank lev

running free in field
celebrating summer's warmth
trip on fleece, skin knee

fortune teller screamed
at image in crystal ball...
life without snuggie?

holiday weekend
had my blanket with sleeves but
no cell phone signal

firing up fan base,
school had official color
changed to snuggie blue

art collector scoffed
"would your art be priced so high
if I had no fleece?"

need excuse for fleece
halloween is months away
and weather is warm...

track star distracted
fleece-covered competitor
lined up on the blocks

blanket sits folded
in dark closet, so ignored
"what did i do wrong?"

masking tape attempts
to hold together ripped fleece
just like nerd glasses

sentimental day
turned nasty, kids fought over
fleece inheritance

hoping for warmth, but
i spilled my beer on you. a
cold, wet snuggie sucks.

courtesy of todd leif

how many snuggies
do john, kate and 8 kids need?
maybe they share them

courtesy of katy rank lev

bear bryant wore hat
pee wee had those suspenders
me? I'm guy in fleece

on morning commute,
must readjust frequently
fleece slides on bus seat

union official:
wearing fleece not in contract
extra costs apply

tabloid jessica
new curves, puffy face, oh no
snuggie hides all flaws

courtesy of scott diamond

couple compromised
on tuesday, the blue one's hers
wednesday, it is his

spontaneity:
deciding snuggie color
at the last minute

"even flow" was great
but vedder just not the same
in fleecy outfit

inmates protested
"snuggie not appropriate!"
warden just chuckled

tents can be drafty
rules are no fleece; made bonzo
sad circus clown

snuggie snuggie snug
are those davey jones lyrics?
david cassidy?

courtesy of scott diamond

dried out christmas tree
sits dormant in living room
fleece saps energy

a blanket with sleeves or
or just a stupid shirt of
thick polyester?

courtesy of todd leif

one hour dry cleaners
fast but still too long to go
without my snuggie

cousteau lamented
decision to wear snuggie
"look like octopi"

washcloth absconded
formerly emergency
now, sleeves fit purpose

jump rope twirlers laugh
new kid in blanket with sleeves
only gets to one

chimney sweeper frowned
lamenting favorite snuggie
never again red

bullet tore through flesh
wounded soldier cried for help
blame fleece camouflage

can i deliver
my baby in a snuggie?
beats hospital gowns!

courtesy of katy rank lev

hunter perched in blind
warm from the sun and snuggie
sweat drops scare off deer

"but what IS normal?"
the psychiatrist opined
in his blue snuggie

tornado winds howled
posing threat to mobile homes
and people in fleece

man sighed at the mess
first snuggie hang glider a
failed experiment

shopper ignored by
department store sales lady
the "snuggie effect"

snuggie in washer
hands trapped in normal blanket
phone goes unanswered

can’t defend myself.
my deadly roundhouse gets lost
in this fleece nightmare

courtesy of bear and ninja

grandmother just sighs
kids today wear blue not green
generation gap?

soccer moms gossip
about new kid on the team
hard to run in fleece?

roman movie set
wardrobe of fleece seemed to lack
authenticity

run through wet green grass
dive head first on slip n slide
fleece not slippery

nothing says don’t care
for personal hygiene like
snuggies in summer

courtesy of bear and ninja

new boss demanding
insists waitstaff wear no fleece
customer complaint?

insistant masseuse
demands removal of clothes
"yes, including fleece"

under bright stage lights
guitar strings muffled by fleece
the boos ring loudly

rolled sleeves for summer
"blanket with sleeves" just "blanket"
cool summer blanket